Sad news for those still without Wiis and hoping that their patience/inability to find a Wii would translate into some saved cash…Nintendo has announced that it won’t be chopping the price on the little white console, or it’s portable cousin, the Nintendo DS, in 2008.
President Satoru Iwata addressed analysts’ questions by saying that “Our earnings projection for the year is not based on hardware price cuts, and I don’t think we are going to need them”. Basically: people will buy both the DS and Wii for the price we’ve set them at dumbasses. Why would we lower the prices and cut into our profit?
The two Nintendo powerhouses, which have been tops on the hardware lists for quite a while, still generally retail for less than their competitors, making them a very attractive option, even at their current full price. Sure, lowering the price would make them fly off the shelves faster, but considering the rate these things are going…. rapidity isn’t exactly an issue.
Nintendo hopes to double the Wii’s hardware sales this year, shipping upwards of 25 million units, while downsizing its expectations for the older DS, with a conservative estimate of 28 million units.
Play-Girlz Tipster Scarlett writes in with the following very important public service announcement: “What’s the point of having a big gun if it’s always soft? Projectile Dysfunction is a serious issue affecting millions.”
We all know them, the wusses camped out in the corner of a room hoping that you’ll blindly stumble into them because that’s the only way they’re going to mark a kill. Their situation is a pathetic and saddening one, but now there’s help! Very well patterned after a Viagra ad, the ET Quake Wars parody suggests “Stroyent” for avatars having difficulty “getting and maintaining enough health and/or ammo for destruction”.
Stroyent, or more properly humanifil killemal, may just help your in-game impotency and up your game to a whole new level!
Rejoice Stargate fans! Your chance to try out Cheyenne Mountains (very very) long awaited MMORPG Stargate Worlds, is at hand. The official website has a rather well-hidden means of recruiting gamers to the open beta. The beta isn’t scheduled to begin until the fall, but if you want in on the action, I would suggest signing up early to avoid bitter, crushing disappointment.
To sign up for the beta, go to the Stargate Worlds website, create an account, and watch for the little check box on the form that says “by clicking this box, you are signing up for our beta test for Stargate Worlds!” It’s at the very bottom of the registration page, where they also ask you to sign up for newsletters, email spam, and things of that nature.
Why so hard to find the sign up? Well have you ever been on the receiving end of thousands upon thousands of beta requests? It’s messy, difficult to manage, and you get a huge proportion of people who take up spots in the beta but never actually use it as it’s intended…to improve the gaming experience prior to release. What Cheyenne is doing is performing an early selection whereby only those who read the registration form closely enough to care actually see the beta box and sign up. Well, those people and also anyone who reads Play-Girlz…
This has got to me some sort of new low, or manifestation of further neuroses for Jack Thompson. He’s taken his crusade against “murder simulator” GTA IV to a whole new level by writing a scathing, critical letter…to Rockstar head honcho Strauss Zelnick’s mom. Apparently Thompson is under the impression that everyone is still imbilically attached to their mother’s, even into middle age, and finds the harrassing of innocent older women to be an acceptable way to further his cause.
Some choice cuts from the letter include Thompson questioning Mrs. Zelnick’s parenting skills and philosophies:
“Maybe you, Mrs Zelnick, were so taken by your handsome son that you spared the rod and spoiled the child. That would explain why he has brought you, by the way he presently acts, to shame.”
And even more baffling, pinning the apparent crimes of the son onto the completely uninvolved mother…wtf?
“Your son, this very moment, is doing everything he possibly can to sell as many copies of GTA IV to teen boys. If you trained up Strauss to do this, then shame on you,”
“The pornography and violence that your son traffics in is the kind of stuff that most mothers would be ashamed to see their son putting into the hands of other mothers’ children”
“Your son, this very moment, is doing everything he possibly can to sell as many copies of GTA IV to teen boys. If you trained up Strauss to do this, then shame on you”
Lastly, and most hilariously, was Thompson’s link in to Mother’s Day:
“Happy Mothers’ Day, Mrs Zelnick, which this year is May 11, two weeks after your son unleashes porn and violence upon other mothers’ boys. I’m sure you’re very proud.”
If only all of this were a joke… If you want to protest the game, you go right ahead, but you leave people’s moms out of it Jack. I can feel a whole round of “Yo’ Mama” jokes welling up in the internets.
Ever wondered what would happen if the American Presidential race was played out in the form of a Pokémon match? Apparently I’m not the only one, because there’s an anonymous video circulating on YouTube that shows Democratic candidates going up against Republican John McCain in an epic battle of platform draws.
The best?
Barack uses HOPE
McCain becomes CONFUSED…
McCain is CONFUSED…
Microsoft is in the process of doing a very charitable thing. The company has partnered up with Companions in Courage to bring the joy of gaming to hospitalized children.
Microsoft will supply hospital playrooms across the United States with Xbox 360s and games so that the children have “a way to connect through something as universal as games.”
The consoles being donated will be “customized” and will include “suitable” games for children. They will also include the Xbox 360 Headset and Xbox LIVE Vision Camera capabilities, which the patients will be able to use over a secure network.
For more about Companions in Courage, visit their official site.
A couple of strangers noticed smoke coming out of a house.
Inside were the woman and her father, who had rushed to the scene in response to a call from his daughter before she was overcome. Ward recalled: “We shouted ‘Is anybody there?’ The next thing the father upstairs answered ‘Yes, I’m upstairs’. We shouted ‘Anybody else in the house, we can’t see.’
“We put some coats over our mouths and ran upstairs. Robert and I were swearing and the father was shouting ‘My daughter’s here!’. We were going on our hands and knees - that’s how dark it was. You couldn’t see your fingers if you put them in front of your eyes.
“We felt our way around the darkness. We found her and dragged and carried her down the stairs and outside. She was going in and out of consciousness.”
Johnson added: “We could only feel our way about. The father was stumbling around. He couldn’t find his daughter. We found her on the floor.
“I tried to get her on my shoulder but it was impossible. She was in a pretty bad way.”
The fire was officially confirmed to have been caused by an Xbox left on standby.
It’s unclear whether they mean an Xbox or Xbox 360, though the latter seems most probable. Hard to say. Either way, it’s not good for Microsoft.
For those of you wishing to add a some Nintendo music to the soundtrack of your life, check out this list of the top 100 songs from Super Nintendo. And the best part? They’re available for download.
Here’s the top 10 to get you in the mood:
001. Super Mario World - Overworld (Yoshi) 002. Castlevania - Dracula X - Slash 003. Donkey Kong Country - Aquatic Ambiance 004. Street Fighter 2 - The World Warrior - Vega 005. Super Mario Kart - Vanilla Lake 006. The Legend of Zelda - A Link to the Past - The Godness Appears 007. Chrono Trigger - To Far Away Times 008. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV - Turtles in Time - Sewer surfin’ 009. Stunt Race FX - Aqua Tunnel 010. Axelay - Unkai
I was a little confused when I first started watching this video, wondering how a person could manage to play a video game on a piece of paper. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it’s possible after all.
This is officially one of the neatest videos I have ever seen. Check it out.
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Microsoft is in the process of doing a very charitable thing. The company has partnered up with Companions in Courage to bring the joy of gaming to hospitalized children. 
It was only a few days ago that I 
For those of you wishing to add a some Nintendo music to the soundtrack of your life, check out this list of the top 100 songs from Super Nintendo. And the best part? They’re available for download.
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