the play girlz gaming blog

Writing for Girls: A Guide for Boys

by Erin on June 7th, 2006

All of you gaming media folks out there who have been watching as the conglomerates struggle to get in touch with their feminine side and attract female gamer into their branded folds, have no fear! For you, a simple and easy-to-use guide has been constructed by Richard Cobbett. The ten-step recipe for success

with an audience of the fairer sex touches on such important topics as self-righteousness, over-sensitivity, and most importantly Lara Croft’s chest. Cobbett provides several different descriptors for use depending on the tone of your girl gaming piece:

Refer to “Lara’s chest”, and you sound debonaire and suave, aware of the connotations, yet subtly removed from them. A sly reference to “Lara’s boobs” and you’re with the everyman; casual, yet aware. “Lara’s assets” show you as a dispassionate observer of life’s rich tapestry. And “Lara’s back! And her front too!” translates literally as “I am a man with no sense of humour.”

My favourite is in fact the fuschia (it’s a shade of pink gentlemen) banner mind-article demonstrating what a proper promotional piece for a girl’s site should be. I wish I could say that the banner was made specifically for this humour piece but look! I shan’t comment further, but know that I am snickering like a mo-fo behind my shiny desk. He provides some very helpful hints on how to help your article make a splash.

It’s important to set the tone for your feature, and make it welcoming for any girls who happen to pick up a copy. Don’t worry that the tone is inevitably aimed at guys, and full of words like ‘we should’ and ‘female gamers are’. You can compensate by putting your words on a lurid pink background, and covering it with hearts and lipstick kisses. Puppies are optional…rather than using words like ‘gamers’, make sure to say ‘girl gamers’, or better yet, simply ‘females’. Nothing says enlightened cosmopolitanism like talking like a Ferengi.

Considering that I have been told by an ex-colleague that (paraphrased): just because I don’t think a site is attractive doesn’t mean he would go out and hire a team of coders to make it pink; demonstrations of this nature always make me laugh. You know what? I’m wearing pink right now. A pink girly tee. But does that mean I want to torpedo the visual loveability of my new hawt girl gaming (chicks pwn you! Like totally…) site? Sadly, the sort of aforementioned idiocy has not been confined to only one person.

It seems that Cobbett’s article has never been more needed! Play-Girlz will immediately undergo renovations to better reflect the wisdom now available to us. Gone will be the blue, traditionally a boy colour and hence misleading to the majority of our readership, and in will come watermelon. Ingrid and I will post more pictures of ourselves and our female friends doing vaguely gaming related things. We will sell Play-Girlz thongs, because everyone loves a good thong. And lastly, we will stop covering anything but casual games, because we all know that that’s all us girls play. After all, in the words of Robin McShaffry, female co-founder of the game industry recruiter Mary-Margaret.com:

“Women are very busy. When they do take the free time to play a game, they want it to serve some purpose. Maybe they’re playing Soduku, and they feel like they’re making themselves smarter, like playing Tetris. Sitting and playing a brainless game for hours on end is not something a lot of women have time for.”

I’m so glad that people like her are representing me in the industry.

***I feel like I should add this disclaimer just in case people are a little slow today…this is a joke. Meant to be taken light-heartedly and in the spirit of being able to laugh at oneself every once in a while. Does a body good. P.S. Thanks Jonic for the tip.***

Share This

Related Stories

• Nintendo DS & Gamer Girls
• Meet Your Match on Nintendogs
• Fight Breaks Out Over Video Game

POSTED IN: Humor, Links, Musings